LPG safety, without the lecture

The three things that actually go wrong

1. A worn hose. Rubber hardens, cracks and splits, especially above a stove where it is hot. This is the single most common failure.
2. A bad regulator connection. Cross-threaded, not clicked home, or a regulator so old its rubber seat has gone hard.
3. A cylinder stored in the wrong place. LPG is heavier than air, so a slow leak in a basement, a stairwell or a closed room pools at floor level instead of dispersing.

Notice that none of those is the cylinder itself. Tanks are thick steel and pressure-tested. Your attention belongs on the metre of rubber and brass between the tank and the burner.

Connecting a cylinder, step by step

1. Check the seal. It should be intact when the cylinder reaches you. If it is broken, refuse the delivery.
2. Turn the stove knobs off. All of them, before you touch the cylinder.
3. Inspect the hose. Squeeze it. It should be supple. Cracked, sticky or hard means replace it now, not later.
4. Fit the regulator squarely. Push straight down onto the valve and click the lever home. Never force a thread.
5. Leak-test with soapy water. Mix dish soap and water, brush it over the valve-to-regulator joint and both hose ends. Watch for thirty seconds. Growing bubbles mean gas is escaping.
6. Never test with a flame. People do. It is exactly as bad an idea as it sounds.
7. Light the burner last, once the joint is dry and bubble-free.

Our crew does all of this as part of a delivery. If you ever connect a tank yourself, the soapy water step is the one you must not skip.

Storing a cylinder

• Upright, always. On its side, liquid LPG can reach the valve, and the regulator is not designed for liquid.
• At or above ground level, in a ventilated spot. Never a basement, never under stairs, never in a sealed cabinet.
• Away from heat — not beside the oven, not in direct afternoon sun on a tin roof.
• Away from drains. Leaked gas settles into them and travels.
• Not in a bedroom, and not in a vehicle any longer than the trip takes.

Replacement schedule worth keeping

Part	Replace	Replace sooner if
Rubber hose	Every 2 years	Cracked, sticky, hardened, chewed by rats
Regulator	Every 5 years	Dial sticks, hisses on connection, visibly corroded
Hose clamps	With the hose	Rusted or loose
Cylinder	We handle this	Dented, holed, badly rusted, foot ring damaged

Write the date on the hose with a marker when it goes on. It takes five seconds and removes all the guesswork in two years' time.

What we refuse to do, and why

• Decant from one cylinder to another. It is common, it is illegal, and it is how cylinders end up overfilled. An overfilled tank has no vapour space for the liquid to expand into on a hot day.
• Fill a cylinder that is out of test date or corroded. Steel thins with rust and a failed cylinder is not a small event.
• Supply a storage site that is obviously unsafe. If cylinders would sit in a sealed room or over a drain, we will say so.

If another supplier is happy to do any of these for you more cheaply, that is worth thinking about rather than celebrating.

Fire extinguisher

A 4.5 kg dry chemical (ABC) extinguisher near — not in — the kitchen is worth the few hundred pesos, particularly for a carinderia or any kitchen with a 22 kg or 50 kg tank. Check the gauge is in the green twice a year.

For a gas fire the first move is still to shut off the valve if you can reach it safely. Putting out the flame while gas keeps flowing just fills the room with fuel.